My first blog

On a grey day, when a download won't complete, and after I had gotten up far too early because of a doctors appointment I found myself watching the extras of Juno on DVD and became inspired by Diablo Cody, a writer that began in blog, and has now become something of a screenwriting and literary sensation. I figured, if a former stripper could do this, find a following, and then hit the big time, then perhaps my own irreverent thoughts, interests and general dilemmas may also garner me with interest by the public at large, or at the very least, serve as a way for me to exorcise any inner demons and drive out annoying thoughts on various day to day minutae.

I am going to keep this annoymous, simply because it allows me freedom, friends may read this, or not, but if that happens it would be still cool if I were able to freely put myself into my blog and discuss things, which could raise concern amongst those that know me, so annoymous it is, that way the innocent are protected, not that I am going to be preying on innocent. Oh my... I seem to be digging a hole right away.

So, whats been bothering me of late? Well, I am currently trying to find a wee bit of romance, and perhaps more through the use of online dating sites. See, I find it hard to break the ice with women, to move beyond being an acquaintance or friend and become a boyfriend of lover, I seem to lack something that drives most men forward into this. So, rather than be rejected again in person, I figure, try online, after all, only the sad and lonely, the impoverished few that cannot meet people in person would be doing this. And what did I find? Madness. Women, of all ages, some very attractive, some highly superficial, some munters but all seeking their idealised versions of Mr Right. (Who is that guy?) I also found that there is a certain predisposition to not entirely being forthright on describing interests and self. There are an awful lot of women in the world who frequent gyms, yet seem to not in anyway benefit from this. Of course, it does mean that should I ever go to a gym, and the practice nurse at my doctors tells me I probably should, that I would be walking into a possible hot bed of free women looking for their so-called Mr Right's. Of which I feel I wouldn't be.

Everyone has the right surely to meet someone that they would like to be with, of course, that person would need to feel similarly, but some people have some lofty ideas of how good they are, how beautiful they see themselves, and this deludes them into thinking they can reject guys off hand without a second thought. Surely character is important, the inner person, but who ever gets to know that, with brief one or two line responses to effectively what the internet has turned into a supermarket for possible dates. You become forced almost to be superficial and hunt for women on the dating sites by picture first, and then hope they have imbuned the profile with sufficient to entice you to want to know more, but more often than not, you just get ignored. Its like shopping in Sainsbury's but with only the finances to really afford Netto. You might be able to pick up a "basics" range offering, but chances are its not what you really want.
It ultimately becomes a compromising situation, and even more risky when you actually try to talk to someone.

I guess its basically a home truth that guys and girls, though a necessity for a regular relationship, aren't really compatible, and aside from biology, there more or less different species.

Well got to go for now, but its kind of nice having somewhere to vent a little, clear the mind of clutter, and if someone feels they can read this, and get something from it, all the better.