Daring to hope

Recently, whilst venting some frustration on the dating site I actually got some interest. Now, my usual inclination here is to get overtly excited, imagine an entire relationship, its concequences and outcome all in around 30 seconds and then decide its probably best I not pursue anything, however the first contact was from an older woman, who just wanted to be friends, so immediately I was freed from my own proclivity to destroy before starting a relationship. However, building a friendship with a total stranger isn't something I have done much of, at least not without some kind of physical interaction, such as sharing a class, event or job. But it was positive nonetheless, and I shall endeavour to try and build this.

The second interested female is of european orgins, a little younger than me, but approached me, actually completely blindsided me. I hadn't even seen her profile before. Now I have learnt not to get too excited or hopeful, to try and rein myself in and prevent my destructive prerelationship issue from happening, but at the same time, should I actually allow a little hope? Its not like we have made an arrangement for a date, or talked on the phone, its been one message from her, and a reply from me. I have to admit, I am kind of at a loose end with exactly how to conduct myself, I want to seem friendly and open, but with sufficient detachment so that if nothing happens I dont find myself feeling rejected. I wish I could have that kind of male quality that basically just doesnt care and seeks only fulfilment of their desire and libido. Alas tis not me, I am far too considered and caring, too concerned with how the woman would feel. In fact it is very probable that I concern myself with a womans enjoy of me more than I would my own enjoyment. I have often told myself that I gain my enjoyment from knowing that those I am with, be it lover or friend, have enjoyed themselves.

I guess, its time for the baby steps and the nervous boldness that may ensue should a date, and more work itself out. Patience is my ally here, and I will wait and see.

Can you be excited and patient all at the same?