Overstepping myself

I made a big mistake the other day whilst at work, I declared myself a god. Now I was doing so to stress the importance of my job and to the degree of responsibility and control I am taking for this particular part of my job, but really... a declaration of deity isn't really called for, and so, I have probably made myself out to be a total tit to all my colleagues, that or with a wee bit of luck I have instilled a fear a kin to the wrath of god type found in religous text.

I am currently in another predicament too. I am going to a Halloween party this weekend, and I have been offered to "stay the night". Now, the context here is key, it is a friend and former girlfriend that is making the offer. Now whilst there is an inherent practicality to this, I am possibly reading into it too much. Could this be an opening to rekindle the relationship... could it be exactly what is described and just a friend offering a friend a place to stay because of a late night drive. I really aren't sure as to what to make of this. I sense a degree of wishfullfilment here and I feel that I may well be in danger of overstepping on a friendship too.

There are days when I really wish I could just shut down my brain, cease thought and thinking. It is a major issue I have with me, and it effects almost everything I do. I think that the only genuine moments I have when I aren't self absorbed is when I am watching movies. The magic of escapism through the moving image is my only stablising thing in my life. Of course after it finishes, then the brain goes into overdrive dismantling and studying said films.

I am trying still to find a companion on the dating website, currently talking to two women, one I have never seen, and one that has a very unique look, and I hope I aren't subconsciously trying to meet her because of that. I like to think I am getting to know both women reasonably well, its slow, and neither of them is particularly articulate in what they write me, there again, I do tend to waffle on a bit, hopefully with an imbuned sense of fun though.

I feel with the "Unique" one that there maybe a spark, it maybe all one way at the moment, but I have a physical attraction for her, and also feel that we might be on similar wavelengths with interests too. I guess I have to try and learn from the last time and play it slowly and try not to jump to any rash decisions.